It was 7pm, when Bernard began his walk in the cool evening breeze to Sharon’s house with a sense of despair; he wasn’t exactly sure why he was going there. She had called him and said that her sisters where going to be away for the weekend and that she had the house to herself and wanted someone to be with her, but he couldn’t help but wonder why he was the one she called, seeing as though she had told him last week that she could never have anything to do with him in a romantic sense, her exact words had been ringing in his mind ever since then; “All we could ever have is a platonic relationship, besides I have a boyfriend”.
He had spent much of the week trying to avoid her, but was largely unsuccessful. They were at the same university, studying the same course. There was almost no place to hide, even their electives were the same, and so all day they had the same classes, and even off campus her living complex was just a couple of blocks away from him. She had moved in about three months ago and almost instantly without having even talked to each other prior to that they became close. So close that his girlfriend at the time ended their relationship, she claimed he paid more attention to Sharon than he did her. He didn’t put up much of a fight because even he knew their relationship had run its course and truth be told he never really liked her. She was a nice person, but he just never found her attractive; she was dark and a little bit too fat for his taste and sure she had a big ass, but beyond that there wasn’t much of an appeal and most of the time they had nothing to talk about.
He walked silently kicking stones and cutting branches off the plants by the side of the road, thinking incessantly from every angle his mind could conceive of, of what was going to happen in that apartment. Was he just going to spend time talking to her and then go home later or was he going to spend the two days there, she had certainly implied that, and If he did, would they kiss or have sex or would she just make him hold her while she slept. “Oh God, what kind of a Simp am I?” he thought.
He started to talk to himself aloud “Look, if she says that you guys won’t do anything except talk, then bro just walk away, you’re not going there to be an emotional crotch for someone who clearly doesn’t want you. Yes, Yes, that’s what I’ll do, don’t be stupid, just go in there and take charge, you’re a guy for God’s sake, don’t be stupid, don’t be a simp okay? Okay.”
He could see her house now as he turned the street and came into the complex; he walked silently till he got to the apartment and before he could even knock the door was thrown open and there she was, standing with a big mischievous smile on her face
“Hi” she said
“Aren’t you going to come inside?”
She took him straight to her bedroom and immediately jumped on the bed. He decided to sit on the reading chair across from the bed, as far away from her as he could.
“Why are you sitting there?” she asked. “Won’t you join me?”
He wanted to ask her why he was here and what exactly she wanted from him and why she kept torturing him and putting him on a leash, leading him on even though she knew he liked her and then drawing back when he started to make advances as well. But instead, he just said “Nothing, I just feel like sitting here for now”.
“Okay then, should I Join you?” she asked. “I could sit on your lap”
He hesitated for a moment, almost trying to convince himself that it wouldn’t hurt to play along, but against every fiber in his body, he finally said with a low voice as unconvincing as could ever be “No… don’t do that”
There was an unnerving silence that lasted minutes with neither attempting to say anything; she looking at him as if he was a sumptuous meal about to be devoured, and he lost in thought, to the point where his surroundings became almost translucent.
After about five minutes of this, she finally got up and walking to him unnoticed, sat on his lap, “Hey” she said, “what are you thinking about?”
“Um… Nothing, I’m just tired, that’s all”
“Okay. Wanna watch a movie?”
“How about… Fifty shades of grey?”
Again he hesitated, but this time he didn’t object “Sure, why not?”
They had gone halfway through the movie, laying side by side, partially watching and partially looking at the other when all of a sudden she told him to take off his shirt and he did. She laid her head directly on the upper part of his chest, with her legs intertwined with his and one hand intertwined with his and the other rubbing his bare chest. His heart started to beat faster and part of his body started to shake a little, out of its own free will. He waited till he could get himself a bit under control before trying to take action.
He tried to kiss her, but she wouldn’t let him, he tried again and once again, she didn’t let him, he was bewildered not exactly sure what was going on.
“What exactly are we doing here?” he asked.
“What do you mean?’
“I mean, what’s the point of any of this?” he asked, “You wanting me to lay down with you, to take my shirt off and the spooning and then when I try to kiss you, you shut me down. Is this some kind of mind game or something that I’m not aware of?”
She looked at him, as if puzzled by what he was saying, “Look, I think I already told you that I have a guy right? And the thing is I do like you, but only as a friend. It’s not like I’m trying to lead you on. I just wanted company, that’s all”
“No” he said, “That’s exactly what you’re doing. I’m the guy who’s the substitute when your boyfriend isn’t around right? And to think that I actually liked you and thought you a wonderful person.”
“So now I’m a bad person because I don’t have the same feelings that you have for me?” she said,
“No, it’s not that at all. You just like the attention and I should have known that before. The fact is you know I like you, you know I’ve always liked you and yet you just keep stringing me along knowing full well that you’re never really going to give me a chance and that I’m just a convenient option for you to have.
“Well, if that’s what you think then why are you even here. It’s not like I tied your legs to me or something. Everything you’ve done that I asked you to do, You did out of your own free will and the only reason you’ve stuck around is because you think that if you’re nice and caring enough to me then I’ll let you into my pants. Well, think again, boy toy”.
He was silent for a moment, taking in what she had just said.
“You know what, I’m done; I’m done with all of this and thank you for saying that by the way. You just helped me clarify where I stand. Just stay away from me, okay?’
He walked out of the house defiantly and slammed the door without looking back to see her face.
On getting to the gate of the entire complex, he turned around in a single step and walked back to her house and this time knocked gently.
After a few knocks on the door, she opened it and with a big smirk on her face, she asked “What do you want?”
“I forgot my shirt”